Friendship has always been a vital source of connection, support and belonging. For many queer people, however, friendships often carry an even deeper significance. In a world where acceptance from family, schools, workplaces or communities cannot always be guaranteed, queer friendships have long served as spaces of affirmation, resilience and chosen kinship. These relationships offer more than companionship, they create networks of care, understanding and solidarity built on shared experiences and mutual trust.
How did become friends, and did conversations around gender or sexual orientation ever influence how you first understood each other?
Veika Rana & Parakram Rana
Parakram and Vedika: Since we are cousins, we grew up together almost like siblings, and over the years naturally became extremely close. Our bond was always built on emotional understanding, humour, trust, loyalty and shared experiences growing up together in Nepal, studying in sibling schools in India, and later navigating adulthood and life in Mumbai. Conversations around gender or sexuality were never what defined our friendship in the beginning. We simply understood each other deeply as people first.
When Paru (Parakram) came out around the age of 17, it did not change our relationship but rather allowed for a deeper understanding between us. One thing we are both grateful for is that there was never pressure to explain or justify identity before being ready. Friendship always created space for openness without judgement or interrogation. Coming out felt less like a revelation and more like allowing someone who was already deeply trusted to understand another layer of who they were.
Dia and Sarosy: We first connected at a very young age, long before either of us began our transition. Through social media, we discovered that we shared many of the same feelings, questions, and experiences about our identities. What started as casual conversations gradually turned into a deep friendship built on understanding and trust. We spent countless hours talking about who we were, exploring our feelings, and navigating the challenges of self-discovery together. There was always a point where our experiences intersected, which made it easier for us to relate to one another and create a strong emotional bond. Being transgender was one of the most powerful things that connected us. It gave us a shared understanding of experiences that many people around us could not fully relate to. Through those conversations, we found comfort, validation and a sense of belonging in each other. Looking back, our friendship grew not only because we shared similar identities but because we supported one another through some of the most important stages of our lives.
Aryan and Bobo: Our friendship started through social media and grew into a close bond. As we got to know each other, we connected through trust, shared interests, mutual respect and similar experiences growing up as queer individuals. While conversations about gender and sexual orientation were not the sole reason we became friends, they helped us understand each other on a deeper level. Being able to talk openly without judgement created a safe space where we both felt accepted, and this strengthened our friendship over time.
Kabita and Bimala: We met as co-workers at Mitini Nepal and through different staff retreats and work events, our friendship grew. We were drawn to each other’s openness, honesty and ability to connect with people without fear or judgement. Over time, we built a relationship rooted in trust where being vulnerable and sharing our feelings felt safe and comfortable. Even though one of us does not identify as part of the queer community, respect for identity has always been central to our friendship. Conversations around gender and sexual orientation helped us better understand not only each other but also the importance of learning through lived experiences. We believe it is not necessary to belong to a community to care about or learn from it. We often ask questions, share perspectives, and grow together through those conversations. As ideas around gender and identity continue to evolve, our friendship remains meaningful because it is grounded in curiosity, respect and a willingness to keep learning from one another.
What role can a best friend play in supporting their queer friend in situations where people judge or discriminate against them?
Prakram and Vedika: A best friend can play an incredibly important role by creating safety, support and reassurance in situations where queer people experience judgement or discrimination. Support is not only about defending someone in difficult moments but also about making sure they never feel isolated or unsupported in everyday life. Sometimes support is loud and protective, and sometimes it is simply being the person they know they can always return to without fear of judgement. We both believe allyship goes beyond accepting one queer person personally. It also means taking the effort to understand conversations around identity, inclusion and queer issues instead of treating them as someone else’s responsibility alone. Having friends and family who are willing to learn, speak up and create safer spaces allows queer people to exist more openly and comfortably in the world around them. That kind of support creates trust, confidence and emotional safety in very meaningful ways.
Dia and Sarosy: We have always been protective of each other. There was a time when we cared deeply about how people perceived us and were often affected by judgement or discrimination. But as we grew together, we learnt to find strength in ourselves and in our friendship. Today, those discriminatory voices feel much quieter, often drowned by our laughter, resilience and the confidence we have built together.
One of the most important things a best friend can do is remind you that you are not alone. We have supported each other through some of our most difficult moments and celebrated each other’s happiest achievements. We have shared tears, joy, fears and dreams. Like any close friendship, we have had disagreements and challenging times, but we have always chosen to stay, listen and grow together. Our friendship has taught us that support is not always about grand gestures. Sometimes it is simply about showing up, standing beside someone and reminding them of their worth when the world tries to make them question it. That unwavering support has been one of the strongest foundations of our friendship.
Aryan and Bobo: For us, support does not always have to be loud or dramatic. Simply being present, offering emotional support and standing by each other can make a significant difference. Knowing that we accept and respect each other regardless of sexual orientation helps us feel confident and comfortable being ourselves. There have also been moments when support meant speaking up. For example, during a day out together, a stranger made a negative comment about the way one of us was talking and dressing. In that moment, the other confronted the individual and questioned why it should bother anyone. Acts like these, whether quiet or outspoken, remind us that we are not alone.
Kabita and Bimala: A best friend can play an important role by being a strong and visible support system when their queer friend faces judgement or discrimination. Standing up for them in difficult moments helps ensure they never feel ashamed of who they are. Sometimes, even reminding people that discrimination is unacceptable and against the law can make a difference because it encourages others to respect identity and personal dignity. Beyond speaking up, support also means listening, creating a safe space and showing through actions that your friendship is genuine. As a queer person, having a friend who empowers you, shares resources and gives you the courage to use your voice can make challenging situations easier to face. We have experienced moments where simply knowing we had each other made all the difference. Friendship is not only about words of support; it is about consistently showing care, respect and solidarity in everyday actions.
What are some things you have learnt about acceptance, identity or relationships through your friendship?
Parakram and Vedika: Growing up alongside each other through so many phases of life has taught us a great deal about acceptance, identity and relationships. One of the biggest lessons has been understanding that acceptance is not simply tolerating differences but genuinely wanting the people you love to feel safe, seen and understood for who they are.
Our friendship has also taught us how important it is to live authentically and stand up for yourself unapologetically.
Over the years, we have seen many different versions of each other while continuing to grow together through honesty, trust and mutual respect. We constantly check in on one another, challenge each other to grow and learn from each other’s strengths and vulnerabilities. Even today, our friendship continues to evolve, and we still feel we are learning from each other every single day.
Dia and Sarosy: One of the biggest lessons our friendship has taught us is that acceptance comes from within, not from external validation. While our identities are an important part of who we are, they have never been the defining factor of our friendship. We have always been more focused on working hard, growing as individuals, and sharpening our skills to build the lives we want for ourselves.
Through the years, we have experienced so much together. We have witnessed each other’s struggles, achievements, failures and growth. Those shared experiences have given us a deeper understanding of identity, relationships and resilience. We often say that while many people may start from zero, transgender people are often forced to start from a disadvantage. Despite that, we have continued moving forward together, supporting one another every step of the way. Today, we are proud of how much we have grown, both personally and professionally. Yet no matter where life takes us, we always find our way back to the roots of our friendship. That foundation of trust, understanding and shared growth remains one of the most meaningful parts of our lives.
ARYAN GURUNG & BOBO MARAK
Aryan and Bobo: Through our friendship, we have learnt that acceptance begins with self-acceptance. Seeking validation from others is not always necessary when you are comfortable with who you are. We have also learnt that true acceptance means respecting people for who they are and understanding that not everyone will have the same experiences or perspectives. Strong relationships are built on trust, honesty, support and mutual understanding rather than solely on shared identities. This friendship has helped us become more confident in ourselves and more empathetic toward others.
Kabita and Bimala: Through our friendship, we have learnt that acceptance is one of the most important foundations of any relationship. Many people struggle with understanding or expressing their own identity, which is why friendships that make us feel seen and accepted become so meaningful. While discovering my own identity, I (Kabita) also began to better understand how deeply personal and complex identity can be for others as well. Our friendship has taught us that identity is never one-dimensional; it has many layers shaped by experiences, emotions, culture, and personal journeys. Truly accepting someone means embracing all of those layers without judgement. We have realized that relationships become stronger when people feel safe to be fully themselves. This understanding has helped us grow not only as friends, but also as individuals who are more empathetic, open-minded, and supportive of one another.
Do you think your friendship challenges stereotypes people might have about queer friendships?
Parakram and Vedika: We do think our friendship challenges many stereotypes people still carry about queer friendships and relationships. Within our own family and friendship circles, Paru being queer has never been treated as the defining aspect of who he is or what our bond represents. Our relationship has always been rooted in trust, care, humour, emotional understanding and shared experiences rather than labels alone.
At the same time, society often tends to “other” queer people and treat queer friendships as something unusual or dramatically different. Sometimes people become overly fascinated simply because someone is openly queer. But queer people exist naturally and openly within every community, family, classroom and friendship circle. We believe friendships like ours help normalise that understanding and encourage people to see queer individuals as complete human beings rather than exceptions. Queer friendships can also broaden perspectives by bringing greater emotional awareness, empathy, resilience and understanding into people’s lives.
Dia and Sarosy: Many people assume that queer friendships are defined only by shared identities or struggles but our friendship goes far beyond that. While being transgender helped us understand each other on a deeper level, our bond is built on trust, mutual respect, shared dreams and years of growing together.
Our friendship challenges the idea that queer people are connected only through their gender identity or sexual orientation. We support each other as friends, professionals, dreamers and individuals navigating life. We talk about our goals, careers, family, creativity and personal growth just as much as we talk about identity.
I think our friendship also challenges the stereotype that queer lives are only about hardship. While we have faced challenges and discrimination, our friendship is equally filled with joy, laughter, ambition and celebration. We have built a relationship rooted in genuine care and understanding, and I hope it reminds people that queer friendships are as diverse, meaningful and ordinary as any other friendship while also carrying a unique strength that comes from shared experiences and resilience.
Aryan and Bobo: Yes, our friendship challenges the common stereotype that close friendships between queer people must eventually become romantic. We view each other strictly as friends, and our bond is built on trust, loyalty, respect and genuine care. Being queer does not mean we share the same thoughts, desires or intentions; we are individuals with our own boundaries and experiences. In fact, because of the judgement many queer people face growing up, queer friendships often place a strong emphasis on respecting boundaries and maintaining healthy relationships
BIMALA GURUNG & KABITA TAMANG
Kabita and Bimala: We do believe our friendship challenges many stereotypes people may have about queer friendships. Often, people assume that friendships with queer individuals are somehow different, complicated or defined only by sexuality or identity. I (Bimala) have heard comments such as, “Oh you work with and are friends with people from the LGBTQIA+ community, so you are seeking a relationship with them,” but for me that relationship is platonic.
For us, our friendship is rooted in the same values that make any strong relationship meaningful: trust, respect, honesty and care. At the same time, our conversations around identity, gender and experiences have made our bond more open and understanding. We have learnt that friendship does not need labels or assumptions to be valid. By simply supporting each other authentically and treating one another with dignity, we hope people can see that queer friendships are built on humanity, compassion, and mutual growth like any other friendship.
How do you make sure your friendship remains respectful, supportive, and comfortable when talking about topics like dating, attraction, or identity?
Parakram and Vedika: Open communication, emotional safety and the absence of judgement are what allow our friendship to remain respectful and comfortable when talking about personal topics like dating, attraction, relationships or identity. We share the kind of bond where no topic really feels off-limits, and both of us feel safe being honest, vulnerable and completely ourselves with each other.
Rather than avoiding conversations that society often treats as uncomfortable or taboo, we believe openness creates understanding. These discussions become opportunities to learn from one another, challenge assumptions, and better understand different experiences and perspectives. Because there is mutual trust and respect, conversations around identity or relationships never feel awkward or forced. Instead, they strengthen friendship by creating deeper understanding, empathy and acceptance.
Dia and Sarosy: We have known each other for many years and have grown through different phases of life together which has made it easier for us to have open conversations about dating, attraction, identity and personal experiences without fear of judgement. What keeps our friendship comfortable is that we respect each other’s boundaries and perspectives. We understand that every person’s journey is different, and we never try to impose our experiences or opinions on one another. Instead, we listen, learn and support each other through different situations.
Over the years, we have built a safe space where we can be completely authentic. Whether we are celebrating achievements, discussing relationships or navigating personal challenges, we know that our conversations come from a place of care and understanding. Even when we disagree, we approach each other with empathy and respect. At the end of the day, our friendship works because we value each other not only for our identities but for the people we are. That mutual respect has allowed our friendship to remain strong, supportive and genuine throughout every stage of our lives.
Aryan and Bobo: We maintain our friendship through open communication, mutual trust and respect for each other’s boundaries and choices. We understand that we may have different preferences, opinions and experiences, and we make a conscious effort not to judge one another. Even when discussing sensitive topics such as dating and relationships, we listen to each other’s perspectives with understanding and respect. Accepting our differences while supporting one another helps keep our friendship healthy, supportive, and strong.
Kabita and Bimala: Open communication and mutual respect are very important in our friendship. We make sure that we listen to each other without judgement and create space where both of us feel comfortable sharing personal thoughts and experiences. When talking about dating, attraction or identity, we approach those conversations with sensitivity and curiosity rather than assumptions. We also understand that everyone experiences identity and relationships differently, so we try to learn from each other’s perspectives and experiences. Being honest, respecting boundaries, and checking in with each other emotionally has helped us build a friendship where difficult or personal conversations feel safe, supportive and meaningful.
