In 2024, does the concept of house-husband raise eyebrows?
Luna: In today’s Nepali society, a house husband can still raise eyebrows as traditional gender roles are deeply rooted. While times are changing and some people are more accepting, many still see men as primary breadwinners, which can lead to judgment or criticism. However, it’s becoming less about fitting into societal expectations and more about what works best for each family. There’s definitely progress, but the mindset shift is gradual.
Mridul: The idea of house-husbands often elicits raised eyebrows particularly in communities where deep-rooted patriarchy, traditional gender roles and norms prevail. Many still equate a woman’s worth with sacrificial practices such as fasting without water for her husband’s longevity and participating in ceremonial worship to wash away perceived “period sins” reflecting the reality of our Nepali society and exposing only a glimpse of persisting regressive thoughts that complicate the acceptance of men in domestic roles. The persistent influence of patriarchal norms fosters skepticism, scrutiny and stigma towards house-husbands who are frequently viewed as failing to fulfil traditional expectations of male breadwinners, challenging established notions of masculinity and reflecting a profound societal reluctance to confront and dismantle the deeply ingrained values that prioritize male financial providers.
As a result, the notion that domesticity is a feminine domain remains entrenched, and house husbands are still, regrettably, looked down upon, emblematic of the enduring conflict between tradition, patriarchy, stereotypical gender roles, and modernity.
Riya: The concept of a househusband, where a man assumes the primary caregiving and household responsibilities while his partner works has become more common, particularly in societies that prioritise gender equality. However, despite increasing acceptance, this idea can still raise eyebrows in more traditional or conservative communities. It would be inaccurate to claim that househusbands are universally looked down upon by society as perceptions vary greatly. The way people view this role depends on individual perspectives, and it would be unwise to generalise across any single community. Each case is unique and influenced by personal viewpoints and circumstances.
Bipin: Yes, it can still raise a few eyebrows. We are living in the 21st century but old stereotypes take time to die. Some people might have outdated views and see a house husband as someone who’s not “fulfilling their role” as a man. But honestly, it’s becoming more common and less of a shock, especially in younger, progressive circles.
As gender roles continue to shift and more people prioritise equality and flexibility in their relationships, it’s becoming less about who does what and more about what works best for each family. This change feels like a natural progression toward more balanced partnerships, and I think it’s here to stay.
Sr Captain Luna Pradhan
Pilot
How socially acceptable is it for marriages to have women as the sole breadwinner?
Luna: It’s still not very common or fully accepted for women to be the sole breadwinners while men take on the role of house husbands. Traditional expectations run deep, so there can be judgment. But I feel like times are slowly changing, and more couples are choosing what works best for their relationship, even if it doesn’t fit the norm. It’s a gradual shift, but acceptance is growing, especially among younger generations.
Mridul: In the Nepali context, the social acceptability of marriages in which women are the sole breadwinners and men take on the role of house husbands remains notably constrained. Deeply entrenched stereotypical gender roles dictate that men are expected to be the primary providers, resulting in couples who diverge from this established norm facing societal scorn. Even when women successfully navigate the challenges of being sole earners, they often find themselves burdened with the expectations to perform all household chores, a reflection of the pervasive belief that domestic responsibilities are inherently duties of a woman especially that of a wife and of a daughter-in-law. While urban settings may demonstrate an acceptance of diverse family dynamics spurred by economic shifts and increasing female empowerment, such arrangements are still largely perceived as unconventional and met with resistance. Ultimately, despite incremental progress, the journey toward widespread acceptance of women as primary earners and men as house husbands is fraught with obstacles.
Riya: It depends on the individual family and couple. If one partner is not as capable – physically, emotionally, or intellectually – there is nothing wrong with the other partner taking on the role of breadwinner in a mutually understanding way. It’s ultimately about the dynamic and understanding between the partners and their families. There is no harm in this arrangement. And I feel a societal validation doesn’t play an important role in this.
Bipin: It’s more acceptable than it used to be. People are starting to realise that relationships should be about teamwork, not traditional gender roles. If the wife wants to work and the husband is better suited for managing the home, what’s the problem? It’s all about balance and what works for each couple.
Even when women successfully navigate the challenges of being sole earners, they often find themselves burdened with the expectations to perform all household chores, a reflection of the pervasive belief that domestic responsibilities are inherently duties of a woman especially that of a wife and of a daughter-in-law.
Mridul Acharya
Model
Do you know anyone in your circle who is a house husband?
Luna: I do know someone in my circle who is a house husband, and honestly, I think it’s completely fine. In their case, it’s what works best for their family, and they are really happy with the arrangement. He takes care of the home and kids, while his wife excels in her career. To me, there’s no reason to judge because every relationship is unique. It’s more about balance and partnership than sticking to traditional gender roles. If it works for them and they are content, that’s what truly matters.
Mridul: I don’t personally know any house-husbands. But it will be a refreshing twist in the age-old tale of breadwinners and homemakers to witness such change.
Riya: So far, I don’t know anyone in my circle who is solely a house husband. In our society, which is becoming more open and embracing gender equality, I mostly see couples sharing both work and household responsibilities. I find this balance more admirable, as men are increasingly involved in caring for children while women take on professional roles, and vice versa. This mutual support is something I truly appreciate.
Bipin: Actually, yes, I know a friend who’s taken that route. He’s an amazing cook and the house is spotless. Honestly, I think he’s living the dream. There’s no shame in doing what makes your household function smoothly, whether it’s the man or woman staying home.
Family dynamics are changing, and gender roles are becoming more fluid. With more equality in education and work opportunities, we’ll likely see more of these setups. It’s about doing what’s best for the family, not what’s “expected.”
Bipin Nakarmi
DJ BPM
Do you think movies today impact the rise of house-husbands and reflect the broader shift in traditional gender roles in society?
Luna: Yes, I think movies today do play a role in normalising house husbands and shifting traditional gender roles. Films like Mr. Mom and The Intern show men stepping into domestic roles, challenging old norms. These stories reflect how society is slowly evolving, and they help open people’s minds open up to different family dynamics. It’s great to see media making space for these conversations.
Mridul: Yes, movies indeed significantly impact the rise of house husbands and reflect the broader shift in traditional gender roles in society. By portraying men in nurturing and domestic capacities, these films effectively challenge long-standing stereotypes that associate masculinity solely with financial provision. This evolving representation not only normalises the concept of house husbands but also aligns with the growing societal recognition of shared responsibilities in family dynamics. Moreover, movies serve as a pivotal lens through which audiences can engage with and reassess their understanding of traditional gender roles.
Riya: Movies today play a significant role in reflecting and influencing the shift in gender roles, including the rise of house-husbands. Many films and TV shows portray men in caregiving roles, breaking away from the traditional “breadwinner” stereotype. This has helped normalise the idea that men can take on domestic responsibilities while women pursue careers, highlighting the flexibility of modern family dynamics.
Bipin: Definitely. Movies today are challenging a lot of outdated norms, and you can see it in the rise of non-traditional families, including house husbands. The more people see these kinds of stories in media, the more normalised it becomes. It’s slow, but it’s happening.
I mostly see couples sharing both work and household responsibilities. I find this balance more admirable, as men are increasingly involved in caring for children while women take on professional roles, and vice versa. This mutual support is something I truly appreciate.
Riya Thapa
Yoga and Meditation Instructor
Mind Management Trainer
Social Worker, The Art of Living Foundation
Do you think the house husband trend is temporary or an evolution of family structure?
Luna: I believe the house husband trend is part of a long-term evolution in family structures. As gender roles continue to shift and more people prioritise equality and flexibility in their relationships, it’s becoming less about who does what and more about what works best for each family. This change feels like a natural progression toward more balanced partnerships, and I think it’s here to stay.
Mridul: The house husband trend appears to be a part of a long-term evolution in family structures rather than a fleeting phase. As societal attitudes towards gender roles continue to shift, driven by economic necessity and increased female empowerment, the traditional model of the male breadwinner is being redefined. Likewise, challenging the traditional notions of masculinity, there is a growing recognition that caregiving and household management can be shared roles. Furthermore, the economic realities of modern life often require dual-income households, making the role of house-husbands not only practical but also very essential.
Therefore, I strongly believe that the house-husband trend is part of a long-term evolution in family structures, as it is evident that in the days to come family life will be defined by collaboration and equality rather than traditional confines.
Riya: I haven’t researched this topic in depth yet, but I find it quite interesting and plan to do so now. Today, couples are generally better educated and have a deeper understanding of how to share both professional and domestic roles. Centuries ago, women were often denied access to education and were traditionally assigned the role of homemaker, a role they excelled in. Their nurturing, loving, and compassionate nature made the home feel more warm and homely. However, as women have become more exposed to education and a variety of career opportunities, this trend is beginning to shift. I believe this change is still in its early stages, as we see more women pursuing careers and expanding their roles beyond the home.
Bipin: I think it’s a part of a long-term evolution. Family dynamics are changing, and gender roles are becoming more fluid. With more equality in education and work opportunities, we’ll likely see more of these setups. It’s about doing what’s best for the family, not what’s “expected.” And honestly, with work getting so hectic these days, I wouldn’t mind being a house husband myself – cooking, cleaning and dodging work emails sounds like paradise right now.
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