DOES MARRIAGE CHANGE A RELATIONSHIP?

All relationships change with the passage of time, so simply put, yes, marriage does change a relationship. I like to think of the quote from the Apollo 11 moon landing, just as a small step by man changed the course of humankind, marriage changes the trajectory of the life of both partners.

Young adults think of the world as their oyster, but with time, one finds the desire to move to the next stage of life. Being stuck on the same page in a book no matter how exciting it is does not lead one anywhere. Getting married for both Ashlesha and myself was a key part of our evolution.

We both went through a phase of learning to think about two in situational decisions. What I have realised in the six years that we have been married is that it is not about finding the yin to your yang, it’s not about completing each other every moment of every day, but finding a truer and deeper friendship and partnership that is not affected by the triviality of the everyday. Two partners take the plunge into the unknown. No matter what hallmark quotes one uses, marriage is about finding yourselves and working to make its work. We all have our strengths and weaknesses.

The constant presence in each other’s lives will dampen the excitement that one felt at seeing each other before marriage, no matter how many people profess that it does not! Everything changes! Change is natural and change is good!  If we did not change and grow, and learn every day, we would be stuck in a “rut” of our own making. Ashlesha and I, in our six years, have grown and evolved. We are stronger and better together and I think we are closer than we have ever been. So, of course marriage changes a relationship, it takes work to keep the magic alive, and it helps even more to have an amazing wife!

Nayapal B Pandé

Credit Manager, Nepal Investment Mega Bank

Marriage. I was opposed to it, till I wasn’t! It’s like taking your relationship to the next level, like unlocking a new chapter in the game. Sure, it deepens your commitment and gives you shared goals to conquer, but it also throws in some surprises – quirks you discover about your partner, a reliance on each other that wasn’t there before. This means you got to flex your teamwork muscles, learn to adapt, and navigate things together.

But like in any relationship, communication is still the golden key. Shared values and nurturing the bond are your ultimate power-ups, marriage certificate or not. So, while marriage doesn’t magically flip your relationship upside down, there are some comfy perks, like making decisions as a united “we” – whether it’s picking vacation spots or tackling finances. It’s not just practical, it’s a unique “us” thing that wasn’t there before, like unlocking a new character with special abilities.

And let’s not forget the emotional side. Knowing you have each other’s backs, that you’ll be snoring away together at the end of the day (or in my case, going from a 3am insomniac when my wife’s away to being in bed by 9pm when my wife is curled up in my arms), creates a whole new level of satisfaction. It’s different from dating, more like its own unique beast. Sure, it requires work, but the stability, commitment, and that future family promise? Those are comforts worth rambling excitedly about. Before my wife, I never even dreamt of spending forever with someone. But here’s the thing: marriage is not a finish line, it’s a road trip! We are strapped in, windows down, ready to explore whatever adventures life throws our way. We are in this together, partners in crime, co-pilots in our love story, and let me tell you, it’s going to be legendary. Buckle up, babe, the best is yet to come!

Shikhar Pandit

Partner, Gandhi and Associates

Marriage does change a lot in your life. It brings maturity. It is very important to build a healthy relationship with your partner. Your relationship and bond become stronger after marriage. Trust, love and care are very important elements in your life journey together. You have the privilege of sharing your personal feelings, emotions and passions together. To have a balanced relationship, it is important that both have equal responsibilities, self-identity, personal journeys.

Asha Dangol

Artist, Co-Founder, E-Arts Nepal

In the current context, marriage and relationship have been different topics of discussion. A few decades back, in most families, marriage was the beginning of the relationship while today, the situation is completely different. This is a very difficult question in terms of understanding relationships and marriage. But let me share my knowledge and understanding with my own experience.

Marriage does change the relationship as we start living in the same room. We get to know the smallest of details about our partner. You have to adjust and make each other comfortable. In my case, I thought I knew a lot about her but I was unaware about a lot of things that were interesting and exactly opposite to me. The biggest challenge was waking up early and getting home early. Now by 6-7 PM, my body, mind and soul want me to pick her up and go back home. I have become more punctual after marriage. Now I also have a whole new family in my close people list. A relationship brings two people together while marriage brings two families and entire lineages together.

I have become more responsible and sensitive to a lot of issues. Marriage is about understanding each other and being responsible. It’s about knowing each other’s flaws, accepting and working on it to become a better person. Life seems to be turning from a dependent child to a responsible couple and planning for good parenting. Relationship is like an admission into a course, marriage is the academic calendar, and children are the examinations. All in all, I am loving this bond which has grown even stronger as each day passes by.

Dr Santosh Upadhyaya

Chairman, Sanurvi International, Mr Nepal 2019