I was in 7th grade when ‘Kaho Naa Pyaar Hai’ was released. Hrithik Roshan and Amisha Patel captivated us as the quintessential on-screen couple, their love story becoming the epitome of romance for my friends and me. A lot of us were smitten with Hrithik, developing massive crushes. Collecting his photos and eagerly sharing them with each other became a common pastime. As a teenager growing up in Nepali society, I believed—like everyone around me—that a relationship always had to be between a man and a woman. That was the only version of love we saw and imagined. Other possibilities weren’t discussed, shown in the media, or even hinted at in our conversations.
I wish that hadn’t been the case. I wish there were films that depicted love between a man and a man, romantic comedies about two women falling in love, or stories of trans people finding happiness with the partners they choose. I wish we had narratives about non-binary individuals finding love with the people they desire. I wish movies and real-life conversations explored relationships beyond the narrow confines of heterosexual, cisgender love. I wish queer love stories had a rightful place in both our reel and real lives.
Love is such a universal feeling—one of the sweetest and most transformative emotions we experience. It is certainly not confined to one human being of the opposite sex or someone from the “right” caste or community. Love crosses countless boundaries, and it doesn’t have to be limited to human relationships. It’s the warmth you feel for your pets, the pride in nurturing a plant, or the joy of books that make you laugh, cry, and reflect. It’s the deep bond you share with your best friend from school, the camaraderie with people who cheer for the same sports team, or the shared excitement with those who love the same music genre. It’s also the meaningful connections with people who touch your life in unexpected ways. I wish we had been exposed and educated about love in all its boundless forms—instead of being confined to the idea that it’s only about a man and a woman.
In this feature, I meet three couples whose love stories defy these conventional narratives. They remind us that love can transcend the fairy-tale image of a prince and a princess. At the end of the day, when we’re tired and worn out, what we seek is a companion—a friend, a loved one—to come home to, someone who makes us feel safe and cherished. It doesn’t matter what their gender or orientation is. What matters is that they love you, make you laugh, and let you vent about how bad your day was!
Note: I would like to thank Sarita from Mitini Nepal (organisation working for LGBTIQIA+) for connecting me with these Couples.
A Love That Transcends Labels: Sarita and Samyog
Samyog has a dream for himself and Sarita. He envisions a small house with at least two rooms where they can grow old together. Sarita jokes, “Two rooms won’t be enough—we’ll need at least one for guests!”
Samyog identifies as a transman. Although his government-issued identity still lists him as a woman, he has never felt like one. Since childhood, he has been most comfortable identifying as a man. Sarita, on the other hand, became aware of LGBTQIA+ issues—and her own orientation—when she started participating in programs and activities organised by organizations working for the rights of queer communities.
It was during one of these programs that Samyog and Sarita first met. Samyog was immediately drawn to Sarita, while Sarita was just recovering from a recent breakup. She took her time, but eventually, Samyog’s caring nature and attentiveness melted her heart, and she found herself falling for him.
That was three years ago. Today, the two live together. Sarita shares, “I’ve seen so many couples where one partner expects the other to handle everything at home, and it ends up straining the relationship. That’s not how we work.” Samyog adds, “As a transman, society expects me to act like a stereotypical man—macho and assertive. But I don’t believe that’s how life should be. You need to love and care for the person you’re spending your life with.”
Both Samyog and Sarita feel fortunate to have had support from their families, though they know many in the LGBTQIA+ community aren’t supported by their own families. “Your family can either be your biggest supporter or your biggest hurdle,” says Samyog. “Once your family is on your side, you can take on the world and fight societal judgment.”
Sarita explains that her family’s openness stemmed, in part, from already having a cousin who is a transwoman. Her relatives had embraced this cousin, which made it easier for Sarita to gain acceptance within her family. She adds, “I have also visited Samyog’s native place, and everyone in his family has been very welcoming and loving. In fact, his father introduces me as a family member.”
However, acceptance outside their families has been far more challenging. “We’ve faced judgment from various institutions and individuals when we disclose our relationship,” Sarita shares. “Staff in hospitals, banks, and other service sectors have either refused to acknowledge our relationship or laughed at us.”
Samyog adds, “I wish it were easier for LGBTQIA+ community members to come out and claim their identities. If more of us could live openly, the government and institutions might finally recognize our existence and create provisions that allow us to live with dignity and security.”
Despite these challenges, Samyog and Sarita find joy in spending time together. Samyog says he loves being playful and childlike around Sarita, while Sarita enjoys cooking for him—something he clearly appreciates, as evidenced by the extra weight he’s gained since they started living together. But neither of them minds. For them, what matters most is creating a life filled with laughter, love, and a safe space where they can truly be themselves.
Finding Home in Each Other: Sandip and Ashok
When I watched Ashok and Sandip pose for the camera, I could already tell how their personalities would shine through. Ashok, with his lively energy, was bound to be the one spilling the coffee, while Sandip, the quieter one, would smile shyly and let his partner lead the conversation. And I wasn’t wrong.
Even though the three of us sat down together, it was Ashok who eagerly took charge of sharing their love story. Sandip and I both smiled as we listened to him. It wasn’t long before I learned that Ashok had been a first runner-up in a recent Mr. Gay pageant—perhaps the reason he seemed so at ease in front of the camera.
Ashok and Sandip first met on a dating app. For Sandip, it was love at first sight—he fell head over heels from the very beginning. Ashok, on the other hand, took his time. His love for Sandip grew gradually. However, their journey wasn’t without challenges. When Sandip’s family expressed resistance to their relationship, the couple decided to meet one last time before parting ways. But what they thought would be their last meeting turned out to be the start of their relationship. That was three years ago. Since then, they’ve lived together and created countless cherished memories.
Today, Ashok and Sandip live in Ashok’s house in Pepsicola, Kathmandu. While Sandip initially faced hurdles with his family, Ashok was pleasantly surprised by the acceptance he found at home. Reflecting on the moment his mother learned about their relationship, Ashok says, “I always assumed it would be difficult for my family to accept my love.” He then quotes his mother’s heartwarming words: “I had one son, now I have two sons.”
Ashok acknowledges the challenges many queer couples face when finding apartments to rent; however bringing a partner to your home to live is not easy either. “It’s not just about having a roof over your head; it’s about ensuring your family treats your partner with love and respect,” he says. “In that way, I feel blessed that my family and relatives have been so welcoming.”
Sandip, ever shy, nods and smiles at my questions. It’s Ashok who often encourages him to speak, revealing a quality Ashok hopes Sandip will work on: his ability to express himself. “I’m a very expressive person,” Ashok says. “I always tell him what I feel, but he tends to keep things to himself, which can sometimes work against him.”
What Sandip loves most about Ashok is his caring and loving nature. For Ashok, it’s the best-friend dynamic he’s found in Sandip that he treasures most. The couple loves going on evening walks together—a ritual they cherished in the early days of their relationship and are now restarting to ensure they spend quality time with one another.
As a gay couple, Ashok and Sandip admit they haven’t faced overt violence or harassment while living in the city. However, they’ve encountered judgments and unwanted comments. They feel city is relatively safer place and that they’ve never been in a situation where they had to hide their love out of fear, but they know that there are many people who still homophobic. That has not stopped them from enjoying their relationship in public spaces, unapologetically.
Still, Ashok emphasises the need for legal recognition of their relationship. “It’s high time our love is given an official identity with ease, and not just a temporary permit to be together. We shouldn’t have to hide or label our bond as something else,” he says. He also wishes for a world where queer couples aren’t confined to traditional gender roles. “We don’t want to fit into the binary expectations of husband and wife. We just want to be ourselves.”
As our conversation winds down, I ask them about their aspirations as a couple. As usual, Sandip smiles and lets Ashok answer. Ashok shares, “Well, we definitely want to achieve financial stability. Once we’re there, we dream of adopting a child and raising them together as a family. We just hope that when the time comes, Nepal’s laws won’t stand in our way. We simply want to give love and raise a child. Hopefully, it will be our intentions that matter.”
Holding Onto Love: Suman and Kabita
Suman and Kabita live in Jhapa, while I was in Kathmandu. A decade ago, we couldn’t have imagined sitting together, sharing stories about love and aspirations. But thanks to technology, we were able to do just that—despite being miles apart. The night before Lhosar, we connected virtually, and as they prepared to celebrate their festival the next day, we celebrated their love story that night.
Suman and Kabita have been together for 11 years and have lived together for the past eight. With the support of their families, they recently built their own home—a testament to both their love and the acceptance they’ve found. Kabita excitedly shares their plans for a housewarming in two weeks and warmly invites me to join if I happen to be traveling to the eastern side of the country. I smile at her invitation, feeling touched by the warmth in her voice. I wish I could be there to celebrate this milestone with them, but sadly, I won’t be able to make it.
Suman speaks fondly of the unwavering support from his family, especially in his journey of self-discovery regarding his identity and orientation. While his school friends were developing crushes on boys, he found himself drawn to girls. But it wasn’t just about attraction—when he cut his hair short for the first time after high school, the sense of relief and confidence he felt was liberating. His journey of self-acceptance, advocacy for LGBTIQA+ rights, and his love story with Kabita have all shaped the person he is today.
Many years ago, a marriage between their relatives connected their families, which meant that Suman and Kabita had known each other since she was in grade six. Their bond deepened when Suman returned to their hometown for work while Kabita was pursuing her bachelor’s degree. Despite their more than 10-year age gap and differing perspectives on life, their love endured. Suman reflects, “People assume love has to fit a certain mold, but life ensured we found each other and held on.”
Over the years, their relationship has been tested by challenges, including external opinions. Suman shares, “People are quick to give advice when they see us debating or arguing. They assume our relationship isn’t working and suggest we go our separate ways. But for us, these discussions are the foundation of our bond. No matter how much we argue, we always find our way back to each other.”
Kabita exudes warmth and positivity. When asked what she admires most about Suman, she smiles and says, “He is responsible and understanding—someone who genuinely wants the best for me. Those qualities were what mattered to me when we fell in love, not the fact that he is from the queer community.”
Suman believes society clings to rigid definitions of love, relationships, and pleasure. “Not only is life viewed in binary terms and relationships are assumed to be only between a man and a woman, the people in power—the ones making laws—are also inflexible. While our constitution guarantees equal rights, the reality is different. Many communities, including ours, still struggle to exercise those rights fully.”
Despite these challenges, Suman and Kabita hope their story will inspire others in the community to embrace their identities and love without fear. To celebrate their journey and reinforce the message of acceptance, they are planning a wedding ceremony next year with their families and friends. Kabita also looks forward to transforming their new house into a true home. “Right now, our rooms are empty,” she says. “We can’t wait to decorate them and create a space that truly feels like ours.”
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