SHOULD A COUPLE SHARE PASSWORDS?

Can NOT sharing social media or bank account passwords cause friction and insecurity in a relationship?

Bikrant: Relationships are built on trust and faith. I am really comfortable sharing my passwords with my partner. It can be a founding principle to building trust and acceptance in a relationship. As often said, “Share to Care”. 

Avas: Irrespective of any kind of relationship you are in, one is also an individual. If you are in a relationship where sharing passwords of social media and bank accounts are mandatory, then maybe it is high time you ask yourself if you should be in a relationship like the one you are in. It is entirely upon an individual if s/he wants to willingly exchange or share passwords. However, to me, a healthy relationship requires a healthy space, a healthy place for privacy, and a good degree of trust. Love should make you feel free rather than bound.

Mahima: I think this is purely a personal preference. For me, it’s no big deal. I am happy for my partner to have these details and access these accounts if needed. 

Roshan: Not necessarily. For me, it’s a sign of trust in a relationship but some may take it as an invasion of privacy. If you feel comfortable enough to do it, you may, but it should not be the cause of any dispute rather a sign of trust.

Trust is the most important thing in a relationship. If you don’t trust your partner, then it won’t work out. So, have confidence in your love and relationship. However sharing passwords with someone who you have only been in a relationship for a short duration might not be advisable. 

How do you deal with a partner who is insecure?

Bikrant: Clear the doubts. The lethal enemy to sound relationship is mis-communication. Be vocal about your personal issues and confusions but in a polite manner. The biggest wars in history were not sorted out with fights but with communication. Period.

Avas: Ideologically, I know clear communication is the only healthy medium to flush out insecurities in a relationship. However, we all fail to do that time and again and we all enjoy feeding on our imagination leading to further problems in any relationship. I myself need to hone my communication skills more.

Mahima: Mostly, I bring it up in a conversation and it leads somewhere, and that brings us closer together. 

Roshan: Assumptions are the enemy of a relationship. Communication, understanding, love, trust, support and transparency are the key to an ideal relationship and can definitely overcome insecurity. 

How important is privacy for you?

Bikrant: Let us not get confused with privacy and personal space. All partners need to respect each other’s individuality. Everyone needs space, a healthy break from life but that does not mean a break from the relationship. For me, personal space is more important than privacy. 

Avas: Healthy space in a relationship comes with space for privacy which however does not mean keeping away all the important details of your life from your partner. Nevertheless, you should have that space where you can be unapologetically you without hurting your partner.

Mahima: I don’t think privacy is about passwords so much as it’s a form of respect; being willing to let your partner share what they want with you when they are ready. 

Roshan: Personal space must be respected and everything does not need to be talked about. It is very important for me, I like having my privacy. You should not force anybody to share anything that they are not comfortable with yet. Try to create a safe space for them where they are comfortable enough to share things and not feel judged.

What are the pros and cons of sharing passwords with your partner?

Bikrant: As I said earlier, ‘Share to Care”. However, prior to doing this, one has to build the foundation of confidence and conviction. Though be cautious as amateur relationships might not be able to carry its load. 

Avas: This depends from person to person. For me, if I am bound to share a password, that is the beginning of distrust. I could willingly share a password but should not be forced to. There is mostly a ripple effect of our actions. You may not really know your partner as much as you thought you did. You two might part ways.

Some could be vengeful towards a partner momentarily and do something stupid with their accounts to only regret it later. Few things are better kept with oneself.

Mahima: If you breakup, you better change the passwords fast! (laughs)

Roshan: There are always two sides to every story, and password sharing is no exception. 

Pros: Trust: In today’s world, the sharing of passwords is like sharing the key to a journal filled with one’s innermost thoughts.

Transparency: It is the jewellery of any relationship. 

Cons: Lack of privacy: Very hard to plan surprises 

Do you think social media is contributing to raising insecurities in relationships?

Bikrant: Social media is definitely bringing people closer. It is giving everyone a platform to open up and explore. Take it as an opportunity to know people better. Rather than social media, insecurity has to do with your personality. A good relationship is hard to earn. Treasure it when you find it.

Avas: To some degree, yes, I agree that social media has consciously or without intention grown insecurities in relationships. People are more engaged in virtual friendships than real ones. We are all victims now. We see this happen every time. Be it a couple or a bunch of friends in a dinner or a coffee shop, people are more busy communicating with others than those around us. Social media lately glorifies a lifestyle beyond reality and we fancy it. In all that race, we often ignore the person who matters the most. We don’t communicate clearly, we don’t share what’s wrong for we fear that it may hurt the other person further. Moreover, we run to new people to calm down our nerves while we should have communicated and made things right with the ones who’ve always been there. All of these allow room for insecurities to build.

Mahima: I think social media is not so different from all the other sources of information and opinions we access on a daily basis. Whether it is media, culture or gossip we are consuming, it’s easy to become distracted and insecure if we are not consciously nurturing gratitude, affection and enjoyment in our relationships. 

Roshan: I don’t think social media ruins a relationship or raises insecurities. Dishonesty and sneakiness does. Relationship should be a package of good communication, respect, boundaries, trust and support.