QUALITY OF TIME OVER QUANTITY
Ayushma Rana Yakthumba
Founder, Maya Mamata Foundation & Aaravai Events
It is not easy to be a mom. No manual works as all kids are different and most of the time you have to rely on motherly intuition. I don’t think you can ever let go of the guilt, it’s not possible, no matter how much you try to justify, the guilt will always be there. Missing key moments as the kids are growing up, key special moments when they do certain things for the first time, you are not there to witness these, that’s heartbreaking. I have very good family support, my mamu and buwa are my rock, they have supported me all my life and they help me with my kids as well; without them, this wouldn’t have been possible. Plus, the fact that I have to fulfil my children’s needs as a single parent; I have no other option but to work. But I enjoy what I do, and to be able to give my kids a life that I can provide gives me purpose in life.
Brand & Marketing Head, NMB Bank
Being a mom has been the most beautiful feeling I have experienced. This is one of the important reasons I feel complete in my life. Being a working mom is challenging. Often juggling with multiple responsibilities and priorities, balancing the demands of a career while raising a child can often lead to feelings of guilt.
– Accept that no one is a perfect parent, especially when you have to perform the role of mom in this society. It’s okay to make mistakes. I believe that I must strive to progress rather than perfection. Once you focus on the quality of time you spend with your child rather than quantity, it will allow you to see the positive impacts in your life and your family’s wellbeing too.
– Reach out for support whenever required, whether it’s your husband, family members or friends. Being a mom, whether working or as a housemaker, does not mean you should be 24/7 everywhere. Share your responsibilities which will help you practice being happy yourself and make you better equipped to handle the demands of both work and family.
– Another important thing I started doing with my child from the beginning is to communicate. I explain to him why my work is important, and why sometimes I will be late because of work, or why I cannot pick him up from school. This communication helps to build a stronger bond between you and your child.
– Lastly, my life mantra is to be content and happy. I try to celebrate the effort and dedication I put into both my work and my family. Celebrate every achievement as a working woman – small or big.
Director, Baber Mahal Vilas
Being a mom is fulfilling, tough, overwhelming, joyous, humbling, exhausting, exhilarating, frustrating, expensive and a million more things that I think a mother only would totally understand. Saying that it is a full-time job, and no matter how much time it takes, one always thinks it is never enough.
I do not think any working mom should ever feel guilty. It is a bloody tough job just being a mother, and working over that; well, those ladies have all my respect. I personally probably did not have working mom guilt, but two kids later I do know how difficult it is.
I consider myself a work horse and I thrive on being continuously on the move. I was working for Back Stage Productions in India, and was trained to be a Chef before I got married and moved to Nepal. I really missed the fast-paced work life I had while planning weddings all over the world, but my two children who are five years apart have humbled me.
To let go of any guilt, you need to be present as a mother, working or not. It is not the time you spend with your children per say but the quality of the time you spend with them.
Being a mom is an indescribable experience that brings immense joy and purpose to my life. It is a role that has transformed me in countless ways and given me a deep sense of fulfilment. My child is a constant source of inspiration, and I am motivated to create a better and healthier community for all future generations.
As a working mother with a 13-year-old son, it is inevitable to occasionally experience working mom guilt, questioning if I am doing enough for my child. One of the ways I ensure my presence in my child’s life is by taking him to school every day. Although I may not be able to attend all of his events, our daily routine allows me to connect with him and be a part of his day-to-day life. There are times when I am away from home and unable to do so, and during those moments, I make an effort to communicate regularly through pictures, text, or voice messages.
Of course, there are moments when guilt creeps in, but I remind myself that I am doing the best I can. It is essential to prioritise quality over quantity when it comes to time spent with my child. Instead of dwelling on missed events, I focus on creating meaningful experiences together and cherishing the moments we do have. I have come to realise that motherhood is not about being perfect; it is about being there, showing love, and instilling values that will guide my child as he grows.