Dinner was planned at a friend’s place. Post Covid, I cherish such occasions more. My husband was travelling and was not in the city. I don’t drive. I have never had the desire to learn, or to be honest, I have always been too lazy to learn new skills. So, a friend promised to pick and drop me. The friend cancelled at the last minute. Had the same thing happened some years ago, I would have cancelled too or gone early and left early. It is not the case anymore.
Not only did I attend the dinner but I stayed back until late. I enjoyed my drinks and conversations. I enjoyed our talk on elections, climate change, cricket matches (my favourite), and meditation retreats some of us had just attended. We all played games and they introduced me to this game on the mobile where we have to guess the word that consists of five letters, and every day you get a new word. I am hooked on it these days. Had I missed the dinner, I would have missed all of these and my friend’s home-made cake.
Then, when it was time to leave, I took out my mobile and reached for the app that provides the service of picking and dropping people from their current location to their desired location in the city. The ride arrived in a few minutes. I reached home safely. There was no need to cancel my plans.
I understand this was possible because of various factors. I am an earning woman. Had I been financially dependent on someone else, perhaps I wouldn’t be able to afford the price of these rides. Thus, I understand that my mobility has come at some cost. Also, I am in my mid-30s. I live in an apartment with my husband. I don’t need to seek permission from any other adult or share my schedule with anyone other than my husband. So, in the society that I live in, I also understand that my mobility is directly proportionate to the number of wrinkles I have under my eyes and my living arrangements.
Various studies have shown that safe, accessible and affordable public transportation is critical to ensuring that diverse women, including transwomen, young women, women with limited sources of income, women with disabilities, women in sex work and in other professions have the freedom to go out in public spaces at whatever hour they want without constant fear of harassment and threat.
The other important factor was the availability of this service, which could come exactly to the location I was at and drop me off at the location that I desired. This was not available when I was growing up or even in my 20s.
However, I was wondering what would happen if these factors didn’t have to play any role in my wanting to be out at night. What if women of all classes, ages and sexualities as well as those with disabilities could find our streets and roads safe to venture on at any time of the day? I understand that in order for that to happen, many things need to change in our society. There needs to be change and commitments at various levels for us to ensure our streets are safe for everyone at any time of the day.
Various studies have shown that safe, accessible and affordable public transportation is critical to ensuring that diverse women, including transwomen, young women, women with limited sources of income, women with disabilities, women in sex work and in other professions have the freedom to go out in public spaces at whatever hour they want without constant fear of harassment and threat.
Ensuring that authorities, such as law enforcement officers, are trained not only for reactive but also preventive services will support the cause. Implementing various initiatives and policies to prevent and intervene in street harassment, stalking and violence is also beneficial. Making streets, transportation is also beneficial. Making streets, transportation and public places disability friendly by applying universal standards of design for streets and public facilities that are applicable to all citizens can help us realize this goal.
However, there is no denying that all of the above initiatives will mean nothing if our society continues to be a patriarchal and misogynist society. Thus, it is imperative that we are open-minded to accept not only high-caste, straight men with able bodies but everybody in parliament, in decision-making positions, and also in our streets at anytime of the day.
Our society is safe and secure only when it is safe for everyone. Diverse women, members of the LGBTIQ community, disabled people and old people need to feel safe and assured to be alone when and where they feel like it.
It should not be the availability of pickup services, our social, economic, and physical status, and definitely not the wrinkles on our face that should or shouldn’t make us cancel our dinner plans. If we want to, we should never have to miss a night out or a friend’s home-baked cake!
