Breakups come with an array of old adages. You’ll have friends and family tell you that its good it happened when it did, that there are plenty of fish in the sea, and some that will advise: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. But is rebound sex actually advisable?
Sex experts say that it is definitely understandable as we are programmed to seek connection. And while we are not practically prepared for another relationship, we are emotionally coded to desire intimacy and closeness and that is why rebound relationships and rebound sex are so common.
But before you dive head-first into rebound land, here are some unofficial ground rules for rebound sex that you should consider:
It’s a temporary fix. Rebound sex may distract you for a night or two, or even ten, but don’t tie your self-worth to it. Relying on another person’s approval might leave you feeling screwed, not in the good way.
Friends with benefits is not for everyone. Striking up a friends-with-benefits situation with a friend might sound good in theory. But it’s often a lot more complicated in practice. It sounds so easy to have sex with someone you already know; you can bypass the whole ‘meeting strangers’ thing but be very careful, because it isn’t easy to preserve a friendship once you have sex. You may think you can control your feelings, but it’s not so simple.
Know what you want and what you are doing. Don’t hide what you are doing. If you’re just coming out of a relationship and want sex, then be honest with the other person. You don’t have to say, ‘I just want sex,’ since that’s not exactly romantic or charming. But make it clear from the start that you’re not looking for anything serious.
Rebound sex can be healing. In some cases, rebound sex may be a much-needed boost of confidence. If you see it for what it is, it could potentially help kick-start the healing process.
Don’t judge yourself. Even though it seems counterintuitive, don’t be hard on yourself. Many people feel guilty about pursuing sex without a relationship but as long as you are upfront with the other person, there’s nothing wrong with two consenting adults having sex – and – enjoying it.”
Practice safe sex. You can’t know for sure what the sexual practices and history of a new partner are, no matter how honest they may seem to be or how much you trust them. People are especially uncomfortable disclosing their sexual history, particularly if they are concerned that it will damage their relationship with you.
Breakups can be tough. Do what you can to make yourself feel better: be it through rebound sex, ice cream or lots of Netflix.
