With the rate at which couples are falling apart and sexual promiscuity is on the rise, ‘happily ever after’ as a gold standard is probably just a fed mindset. People fall in love, fall out of love, get attracted and then lose the attraction, have one night stands, have sex with someone they don’t even like, some people pay for sex, and for some casual sex or sex on the side is what gives them the adrenalin rush. There are cultures where multiple partners are the norm in a marriage. And today, we also see many people opting to stay single and instead practice living in or not. Ultimately monogamy is not really a moral issue, its about what feels right to you; cheating on the otherhand is not okay.
In today’s world, no matter how passionate and compatible early relationships appear, they gradually cool off and lovers grow apart. Monogamy was once valued because it was financially sound and allowed couples to devote more time to each other and their children. But as the world advanced, we humans became spiritually disconnected from not only others, but also from ourselves. We have such a strong desire for nice things that we frequently make rash decisions, such as having an affair. Everything feels good and fair when you are in a fresh relationship, but as previously stated, the romance fades and the spark dissipates. This is because we like the novelty of a relationship but become bored once it becomes a part of our lives; we feel trapped. We strive to find ourselves in the temporary enjoyment of others. We would only be able to know ourselves and others better if we were spiritually connected to ourselves.
Sandesh Sangram Rai
Creative Director, Sangram
I believe that monogamy is a choice that our society approves and predominantly is implemented. If you think choice is a freedom given to people then no, monogamy is not a myth, it’s just an idea that changed with time. Just a few generations ago, in most of the Asian and African cultures, it was normal to marry more than one person and live a communal life in the same household but with time, monogamy became more prominent as people saw more advantages in it. However, open relationships/ polygamy are again being more preferred and practiced among the younger generation, but that does not mean that everybody wants to be a part of it. So, as long as the choices are given, and respected with an open mind, people will choose what they like and want. But on to contrary to have an affair at the risk of hurting someone is unacceptable, at least for me. Companionship begins with love, trust, acceptance, understanding and openness whereas affairs start with curiosity, jealousy and worldly desires. So, not to have control over oneself leads to having an affair outside their marital life.
Rastra Bimochan Timalsena
Monogamy cannot be a myth because a lot of people around the world (I would guess majority) have stayed in a monogamous relationship. Now, the question regarding, why people have affairs is not an easy one to answer as there are multitude of reasons that might lead to affairs. It might be anything from the mentality of a person to a very bad marriage where the husband-wife do not share the same views or commitment and when these sorts of things are not communicated with the other half of the marriage and worsens, it might lead to an affair. So, while there are people having affairs in society, it does not mean that monogamy itself is a myth.