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HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THE FEAR OF FAILURE

by wowmagazine

Aayush Regmi
Grandmaster Energy Healer

Success is not final, failure is not fatal, it is the courage to continue that counts – If we follow this we can always cope with the fear of failure. What we need to understand is fear has two meanings: FEAR- Face Everything And Rise or Forget Everything And Run. The choice is yours. I always choose the first one. I never fear failure. I believe you either win or learn. Life is a learning process. Each failure teaches us a lesson. Failing doesn’t label you as a failure. Every successful person has failed several of times before getting success. Talk about Einstein or Edison. They all failed several times but what made their name in history was their courage to cope with it and to keep trying and learning from their mistakes. Success is not easy but the courage to deal with failure is the gateway to success.

Sefina Joshi
Program Lead, Ujyalo Foundation

In my experience as a Nepali woman, I always felt I was being treated differently in comparison to men where my role as a woman is grounded in many aspects of my life related to culture, history and values. Being born a girl in a patriarchal society has been the biggest challenge in my life where the fear of failure is always at the topmost. My parents have been very supportive in most of the decisions I take but still, there are a few obstacles and challenges I have to face in my everyday life.

Recently, I filled out a form for my driving license for a bike (not for a scooter), and my father was not happy about the decision I made. His first reaction to it was “Scooter liye bhaihalyo ni keti bhayera”. The fear of failure has always been traumatic. This was one of the instances where I felt challenged to prove myself and to my father that I am good enough to get the license for a bike. What if I don’t pass the license exam for a bike? And I did fail twice. I was very disappointed and for a moment I felt my father was right that I can’t do it because I am a girl. When the fear of failure is instilled from the beginning, it adds pressure. I communicated and shared my struggle with my loved ones who support and who believe in me. But that’s not enough. Now I also realised that sometimes to face failure, you also need to fail and accept your failure with grace so that you can do better in the future. No person is perfect and it’s alright to be imperfect.

Nirdesh Dwa
Co-founder & CEO, Ingrails, Veda MIS & E-Learning

I have failed quite a few times. No, that does not make me an expert on failures; however, there are a few things that help me navigate to a state where I can reset and have another go.  

One thing that I have learnt about failing is that the impact tends to decrease as time goes by. Something what felt overwhelming initially changes just days down the line. One of the greatest strengths of human beings is the ability to forget, and thus I don’t get too hung up on failure. This fact helps remove unwanted mental pressure.

Whenever I fail, I like to take some time for myself to evaluate what went wrong. Sometimes feedback from someone else can play a significant role. If the failure has had an enormous impact, I tend to discuss it with the team and call people in my network who have been through something similar situation and talk to them to try and find ways to deal with it. I also try to stay rational and make an effort to find ways to reduce the negative consequences if possible. I honestly believe that I can learn from every failure. I look at failures as an opportunity to grow.

Perhaps the most effective way for me to deal with failure has been to seek help from my loved ones, my team and my mentors. As a society, we tend to hold the belief that seeking help and support makes us weak. I have found this to be quite untrue. It is okay to seek help, and seeking help takes guts. Next time you face a setback, call someone who you think will listen.

Barsha Tamang
Co- Founder & CEO, Lokopakar

The fear of failure is directly linked with the feeling of ‘I am not enough’. Not believing in one’s potential and uneasiness to try as one might fail is always there. The fear of failure is something that is hidden in each one of us. I was never open to the idea of trying and taking chances. Something that helped me is figuring out what is the worst that could happen if it doesn’t go as planned. This made me try and also segregate things I can control and I cannot. The things I can control I excel at and the result is what I expect.

I have always wanted to create a space for girls to share their personal experiences and stories in some way. The space I tried creating without the fear of failing now is present all over Nepal and is expanding rigorously.
Don’t let fear of failure get down to you. You are enough. And we have platforms like “Strength TogetHER” where we can talk safely about your failures and learn from others in the same boat.

Rajan Koirala
Chief Business Officer, Edusanjal

To me, failure is just another step closer to success as we can learn so much from our failures than from success. I usually don’t think about the fear of failure these days because I am more focused on the process rather than its results. Worrying about something that is yet to happen is wasting your energy and creating stress in the mind that ruins your present moment and its productivity. 

However, I do have few stories about fear of failure in different circumstances. One of the extreme cases I experienced was my public speech appearance. During my school days, I was the class topper and was often called in front of the assembly for any sort of speeches representing students or classmates. My legs would shiver, lips would tighten every time I went in front of a huge mass. I got humiliated by my friends in a couple of my worst speech appearances and skipped several school days being absent. Later in life, I realised public speaking is an essential soft skill required in all types of jobs. I started researching about the topic, preparing content and practicing in leisure time, asking friends for constructive feedback and practice again. To become confident in speaking, I have spent several nights gathering resources, watching great speakers speak and practice. I also started meeting influential people through networking and events to build my confidence, prepared myself before going to a meeting and kept notes.

Now, I am a Certified Neuro-Linguistic Psychology (NLP) Practitioner and have trained over 50,000 youths in communication and public speaking, personality development, emotional intelligence and so on. Because I could identify what parts of my competencies need polishing, I could get fear of failure away from my body and mind.  

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