Pawan Acharya & Kamala Panthi
Pawan Acharya wears many hats. He is Chief of News at Radio Kantipur, Executive Member of Federation of Nepalese Journalists, Executive Member of Nepal Sports Journalists Forum, Program Host, Co-founder of Book Hill Publications, Lecturer of Mass Communication and Motivational Speaker.
Kamala Panthi is the Vice-Chairperson of the forum of women communicators, Sancharika Samuha. She works as senior program producer and program presenter with Radio Kantipur, a career she began 18 years ago. She has a special focus on women’s rights, health, victims of law and Maoist conflict.
How do you complement each other in life and profession?
Pawan: She has always been my advisor in professional life. But I am the one who dragged her into the mainstream media. She used to work in a different section of Radio Kantipur but I pulled her into the research and current affairs section. She has distinct qualities that enable her to find new angle to news stories.
In person, she is a caring and loving personality. She had never misunderstood me in almost two decades of our friendship which eventually turned into a marital relation.
Kamala: Pawan is a professional. Work is his priority, so sometimes he cannot be a family person which I wish him to be. However, I admire his simplicity and I am happy that he is a very good husband and father.
What are the advantages and limitations you face being in the same industry?
Pawan: The disadvantage of being in the same field is that we have limited topics to talk about. Having said that, it also creates a homely environment inside the office and an official one within the house (winks). We get the opportunity to discuss issues anytime, anywhere which is very special and a kind of privilege. Being in the same fraternity makes us more engaged and empowered.
Kamala: More than limitations, there are advantages of being in the same field. I can get suggestions from my husband. I even worked under him in the same office. Most importantly, he understands the media field and I can work freely. The only limitation is that sometimes our home turns into office. And since we have the same friends circle, the chance of learning new things is low.
There are no fixed working hours in the media industry. How do you both manage time for each other?
Pawan: We are quite lucky in this case because we live in a joint family and the grandparents take care of their grandchildren. But it’s very hard to manage time for outings and so on. For parent meetings in school and other official gatherings, we divide it between us. We don’t have a week off on the same day, so that causes trouble sometimes.
Kamala: The life of a working woman is not easy. Besides I am also a media personality. You can imagine how difficult it can be to manage personal time. And my husband is the Chief of News. He does not have a fixed time table. In this context, it is very difficult to separate time just for us. However we try spending quality time whenever we possible.
Being public figures, how do you maintain your privacy?
Pawan: First and foremost, we don’t see each other as public figures. But there occurs a need for private time and space which in our case is quite rare. Wherever we go, we do find people who know us or people whom we know. That’s why we choose to go to the places where there are limited numbers of people and most of the time its outside the valley.
Kamala: Since we are media personalities, wherever we go, we meet people who either know us or we know them. So we prefer to go to the places that are less crowded. However, we are not public figures.
Social media has become a medium to evaluate relationships. Do you feel the pressure to get social media validation?
Pawan: Before having children, I used to post pictures of my wife but ever since, it’s changed. Now I am posting more photos of my daughter. People used to assume that we have some kind of problem in our relationship. But in my opinion, social media platforms or the virtual world has no direct link with one’s personal life. Sometimes, I write short poems on Facebook and people do comment on my status refering my wife. Sometimes they tag her and ask whether that poem is for her or someone else. So I think there is pressure, but it’s not the indicator of our love life or relationship.
Kamala: I don’t use social media as a platform to share my family life, but Pawan does. Sometimes, people ask me when they don’t see more photos of my husband if things are well between us.
I think in general we are getting so active in the virtual world that we are going far from real-life. Social media should not be the only medium to measure different dimensions of human relationships.
Have you had to deal with professional jealousy or differences?
Pawan: We used to be in the same research department in radio. She was my subordinate but now she has become a national figure and has got numerous awards more than me. I feel proud of her. Earlier people used to know her by my name. But nowadays, people from NGOs, INGOs, and development sectors know me by her name. And I am happy that she has travelled this long journey and I am and will always be by her side.
It’s because of all her love and support that I am here. Otherwise I wouldn’t have become what I am right now. There’s no such jealousy between us. However, we do complement and compete in certain media content.
Kamala: I am lucky in this case because it was my husband who suggested that I come into mainstream media. I have worked in his department as a junior. So he is always an ideal for me. There is no chance of competition between us. I compete with myself, and I think my husband also does the same.
How do you handle negative comments?
Pawan: I am a person with a positive mindset. Negative and positive are relative things. People may like or dislike you. It is their fate, but we shouldn’t be carried away from our goals with such things. I used to answer back to every negative comment earlier, but now I don’t look at the darker side of such comments. I try to find the silver lining behind each black cloud. That’s why I’ve opened a YouTube channel to spread positivity and teach moral norms and values to the younger generation.
Kamala: Negative things affect me quickly, and that effect remains for a long time. So I try to ignore them.
What are the things that you do to keep the bond strong and growing?
Pawan: First of all, it’s the trust that keeps us together. Second is love that grows bigger and wider every day. And after having children, they do bring you more closer.
Kamala: The love and trust he bestows is the pillar of our strong bond. I try to make every small thing in our life the best because I believe all the things in life may not be special, but if we have the skill to make the small things special, the relationship becomes stronger and deep.
A professional advise for the other.
Pawan: She is not up to the mark regarding punctuality. She should take care of time and shouldn’t keep people waiting.
Kamala: He gets involved in multiple works at a time and takes more time to finish, and he doesn’t say no to anyone. He must improve on these two habits.
What in your opinion is a relationship deal-breaker?
Pawan: It’s trust. Once you break the trust, it’s hard to rebuild. Even if you rebuild, it won’t be the same as earlier.
Kamala: Jealousy and mistrust are the enemies of any relationship. So, we need to be committed towards each other. The relation that starts with mistrust cannot last long.
Saurav Satyal & Kumuda Lamichhane
Saurav Satyal believes that the day we stop learning life comes to a pause. To keep himself close to academic pursuits, he is currently pursuing his Ph.D. in an application of financial management concept with consumer behaviour patterns. He completed his MSc. in International Business and Management from the University of Bedfordshire in the UK and also worked on a Master’s degree in Strategic Management and Leadership in the UK.
Kumuda Lamichhane has been involved in academia since 2014 working for a British franchise program in Nepal. She believes in constant learning and challenging oneself and thus enrolled into a PhD programme in 2019 with a Thai University. She is also the proud mother of two children; Vivaan who is two and a half and Vaani who is a month old.
How do you complement each other in life and profession?
Saurav: We co-exist with the roots of a strong bond of more than a decade. However we respect our private space in ways that enable us to be completely independent. I think that’s how we complement each other personally and professionally.
Kumuda: We have been in each other’s lives for over a decade and have been married for over nine years. We have been together in the most important stages of our lives and practically seen each other growing over these years. We both believe in looking for ways to constantly grow in life and have thus joined a PhD programme too which helps us spend time together be it brainstorming or discussing our research area for our thesis. As we both work in academia, we always do have a common area to talk about.
What are the advantages and limitations you face being in the same field?
Saurav: You get along with people and share a closer bond when the wave length matches. We have grown together through thick and thin. We both share a profession. The only key focus is on development and betterment. Most of our discussions involve these areas. We have a pool of common friends who have been an integral part of our lives. We cannot imagine our lives without them. I have not felt any limitations as such.
Kumuda: Benefits of working in a same field is that we can always lean on each other if we have any confusion or doubts regarding work. We also tend to have the same circle of friends which makes it easier. There aren’t many drawbacks, but one could be that we both need to be reminded time and again that we need to leave our work at work as we get carried away with the conversations about work.
Have you had to deal with professional jealousy or differences?
Saurav: I would take a slightly different angle here as emotions are a result of the thought process, and if you manage the direction, you can enjoy the journey. We value individual happiness and growth in each other.
Kumuda: I have never encountered jealousy as we both are busy helping ourselves and each other to grow.
The pandemic has meant working from home. Being parents of young children, how do you manage and support each other?
Saurav: We both have felt that the online classes demand more time than regular office hours. We have our own office spaces at home and are blessed with a family that understands and supports us in our endeavours. However we both take out time to love, pamper each other, and spend time with the kids.
Kumuda: These times have indeed been very challenging for both our personal and professional lives. Making sure the family is safe at all times and at the same time making sure our classes do not get compromised; this has not been an easy journey. However as they say, ‘where there is a will, there’s a way’. We work from different rooms converted into home office and our kids stay with our parents while we work. We do take breaks in between and spend time together. In the evenings, we all gather in the courtyard where Saurav plays football with our son while I do some gardening. Other days, we read books to our son and as he falls asleep we catch up with Netflix.
Social media has become a medium to evaluate relationships. Do you feel the pressure to get social media validation?
Saurav: I am not a frequent user of social media. You see what you want to see on it. As I said earlier as well, the opinion of people matters and they have all the right too but it is up to you to react to it or just move on.
Kumuda: I feel that after a decade of being together, we do not need social media to validate our relationship. However I do enjoy posting photos of our kids, our vacations, my paintings, etc. Also since he is not interested in social media, there is a balance which is good.
What are the things that you do to keep the bond strong and growing?
Saurav: We respect each other and accept that we are two different persons who have an independent perspective on things. We do not have to agree on everything. We are both persistent and stubborn in a way that we learn and grow for our betterment.
Kumuda: With such challenging careers, our ongoing education and kids, it can be quite exhausting. We do make sure we both spend as much time with each other as possible be it cooking our favourite meals or commuting together to work. We feel that it is all about setting priorities and both of us are our biggest priorities.
A professional advise for the other
Saurav: Be better than yesterday.
Kumuda: Keep learning as the career we are in, requires us to read extensively and keep growing.
What in your opinion is a relationship deal-breaker?
Saurav: Faith, acceptance and trust are very strong emotions. Relations would constitute of these elements. With a duration of a decade together, bonds grow stronger, not weaker.
Kumuda: Relationship is based on trust and transparency. Breaking each other’s trust is something we both never want to do.
Dr. Junu Shrestha Karmacharya & Dr. Balgopal Karmacharya
Dr. Junu Shrestha works as a Consultant Obstetrician and Gynecologist with Manipal Teaching Hospital, and is Associate Professor at Manipal College of Medical Sciences in Pokhara. She also provides trainings for undergraduate and postgraduate medical students since 2008.
Dr. Balgopal Karmacharya is an Associate Professor with Manipal College of Medical Sciences, Pokhara and Consultant Neurosurgeon with Fishtail Hospital and Manipal Teaching Hospital.
How do you complement each other in life and profession?
Junu: We have very different personalities. They say opposites attract and it applies to our lives. I tend to get more stressed and overwhelmed more often and more quickly, while he is calm and more composed. He pacifies me and makes me feel secure and at peace in difficult times. Also we tackle different life situations in different ways.
Balgopal: She takes care of home and children despite being busy. I have more time to practice. I take care of outside chores mostly.
What are the advantages and limitations you face being in the same field?
Junu: I think for any woman having a partner from the same profession is a blessing. He understands the problems I face as a professional. The limitation is that sometimes we both cannot give as much time to the family and children.
Balgopal: Though both of us are doctors, our specialty is different. We don’t talk much about patients unless they have common gynecological/obstetric and neurological problems. We know each other’s weaknesses and problems and can understand the demands of the profession. Limitations are not much. However, we sometimes think that we couldn’t provide time for children as much as we want.
This pandemic has put doctors at high risk and the schedule has been tighter. How are you supporting each other to face this challenge?
Junu: Both of us are concerned about each other. We keep reminding each other of the precautions that we should take to keep us and our family safe. Sometimes it becomes very difficult to manage. Like during the initial phase of this pandemic, we had to work for a week and more. Also we had to stay as a backup quick response team for an emergency. So we kept our duty schedule on alternate weeks so that even if one gets infected and has to stay in quarantine, the other is there to look after the family. We try our best to keep ourselves available at work as well as for the family.
Balgopal: I have reduced the number of patients I see in OPDs and have delayed non-emergency surgeries. I stress on taking personal precautions while interacting and taking care of patients. We have started taking time out in the evenings after the lockdown began.
How are you managing time for each other?
Junu: We start our day together with a morning cup of tea and discuss our plan for the day. In the evenings, whenever possible, we take a walk together and find time for each other. We work in the same institute so whenever we get time, we meet for coffee at work as well. Occasionally we also go on a date, just the two of us.
Balgopal: As mentioned earlier, I have started taking the evening off from work and spending time with the family.
Have you had to deal with professional jealousy or differences?
Junu: How can there be a rivalry between us? I have always wished the best for my husband.
Balgopal: There is no professional jealousy as we have different specialties.
Social media has become a medium to evaluate relationships. Do you feel the pressure to get social media validation?
Junu: We are not much into social media.
Balgopal: I think therelationship between husband and wife is beyond social validation. We don’t care much about it.
What are the things that you do to keep the bond strong and growing?
Junu: Communication is the key to having a successful relationship. We talk over things we agree and disagree on. Of course, like everyone else we also have differences but compromise, forgiveness and love for each keeps our bond strong and growing.
Balgopal: I take time out frequently just for her.
A professional advise for the other.
Junu: Nothing as such, just find time for yourself and self-care.
Balgopal: She takes a lot of time counselling her patients. That is good in one aspect but it takes a toll on her.
What in your opinion is a relationship deal breaker?
Junu: Ego and having a lot of expectations from the partner makes one unhappy. In a relationship, as someone says, one must feel “I am in a relationship because I need him – physically, emotionally, spiritually”, then only one can be happy in a relationship.
Balgopal: Dishonesty and jealousy are the deal breakers.
Sabita Dangol & Ishan Pariyar
Sabita Dangol is a visual artist based in Kathmandu who has been working in this field since 2006. A recipient of several national awards, Sabita has five solo exhibitions and multiple national and international group exhibitions to her credit. Her paintings were also selected to exhibit at the prestigious 18th Asian Art Biennale at Shilpakala Academy in Bangladesh, and the India Art Fair 2018.
Visual artist Ishan Pariyar has been part of the art industry of Nepal for almost two decades. He has won numerous awards including the National Fine Art Award by Nepal Academy of Fine Arts and the Creative Young Artist Award by Siddhi Setuli Pratisthan. He has five solo shows to his credit and has participated in various national and international art exhibitions and workshops. His painting was selected for the prestigious and Asia’s oldest Biennale ‘18th Asian Art Biennale’ at the Shilpakala Academy in Bangladesh.
How do you complement each other in life and profession?
Sabita: Our life has been moving in balance. Being in the same profession allows us better understanding and feel for each other. We both are hard working and have mutual understanding and support for each others life and profession.
Ishan: Travelling in the same boat to different destinations is harder. We are in the same boat with the same goal and destination, the same profession: art. We support, encourage and give suggestions to each other, both in life and at work.
What are the advantages and limitations you face being in the same field?
Sabita: Being in the same field, it’s a celebration for me to visit the shows and art events together. We can discuss, take help, advise each other, and of course, we can share materials, especially colours. Talking about the limitations, sometimes I feel that couples are not selected by a platform even if both are capable of the same award and art events.
Ishan: Being in the same field, we are more like friends, and we feel very comfortable with each other. It’s convenient for us to frequently visit the same shows and get togethers in the artist circle. Sometimes we get the opportunity to work on the same project and accomplish it collaboratively. I don’t think being in the same profession has limitations, rather it’s a celebration. It’s more about understanding and uplifting each other.
Have you had to deal with professional jealousy or differences?
Sabita: Jealousy does not exist. We both have different patterns of working style and have been able to establish ourselves in our careers. We clearly understand that there are uncertainties and ups and downs in any profession, and that we can and will manage to overcome it together.
Ishan: I was very impressed by Sabita’s creativity and have always supported her. I am always there to encourage her. I am very proud to witness her success. Life is a flow of ups and downs but we are equals in any situation.
This pandemic has badly affected the art industry. How are you both supporting each other?
Sabita: It’s harder to manage things when the market is down and there is no sign of things coming to a normal state in the near future. However, we are getting little financial support from the educational institution that we have been affiliated to conduct online art classes. I had plans for a solo exhibition in November but that got postponed, and am not sure when it is going to happen. Besides there are also supporting hands commissioning work to support us during this situation. I hope that the normal days will return soon.
Ishan: We are both hard working artists. Being art instructors, we do have some financial support but it is very hard to manage. Some art enthusiasts are helping us at this time by purchasing our works or commissioning paintings and illustrations. The situation is unpredictable but we both are very optimistic.
Have you exhibited together?
Sabita: Yes in 2017, we had ‘Sublime Conjugation’ and in 2019, we had ‘Intimacy’. Both exhibitions were organised to celebrate our marriage anniversary and we worked on the theme of love and compassion. It was encouraging and motivating. We got an exciting viewer presence during the show. We got good media support and constructive feedback from art enthusiasts, art lovers, gallery persons and artists.
Ishan: We have done a dual art exhibition two times in 2017 and 2019. We were overwhelmed to get the audience reactions. They enjoyed the artworks created based on the couple and love theme. The exhibitions became hugely successful. I think exhibitions give us the chance to meet with art lovers, art collectors and curators as well as a chance to update and upgrade ourselves.
How do you handle negative criticism for your work?
Sabita: As the theme of my artworks is to think positively, I take it as a chance to learn and refine myself.
Ishan: I am very worried having to cope with negative criticism but meditation and positive thinking makes me overcome that mindset. Now I also use it to help educate myself.
Social media has become a medium to evaluate relationships. Do you feel the pressure to get social media validation?
Sabita: Nowadays social media is fake and suspicious. We can’t believe 100% on any topic posted. I have no pressure in finding social media validation for our relationship.
Ishan: I am very clear about social media intention. Although it is a powerful tool for professionals like us, I use social media to share my updates, artworks, social and personal contents, but I am not under pressure for any relationship validation.
What are the things that you do to keep the bond strong and growing?
Sabita: We respect each other. We appreciate each other’s opinions. The trust we have in each other also plays a vital role in keeping our bond strong and growing.
Ishan: Trust is the pillar of the strong bond in our relationship. Over the years, we have learnt to understand each other very well. We care for each other. Also celebrating special days like birthdays, anniversaries and exchanging gifts and flowers adds to the flame and keeps the bond growing.
A professional advise for the other…
Sabita: Improve PR and negotiation skills.
Ishan: You need to be more dynamic as well as updated in the global scenario.
What in your opinion is a relationship deal breaker?
Sabita: Stubborn nature, lack of trust and misunderstanding.
Ishan: Miscommunication, being unsupportive and disrespectful.
