Whether you are talking, flirting, kissing or having sex, eye contact is one of the most intimate things you can do with your partner to bring you closer. As windows to the soul, learning to embrace eye contact will help you and your partner become better communicators. A lot of people have a difficult time making eye contact, especially during intimate moments. It can often feel a lot easier to look away or let your eyes wander around the room, or do anything but look your partner in the eye. Research states that that eye contact is really important for establishing and maintaining closeness in your most intimate relationships. Here’s how it really helps.
• Eye contact is a super important form of visual communication that indicates honesty and openness. Even if you are telling the truth, people are more likely to think that you are lying or being shady if you avoid eye contact with them. Being able to make eye contact is an important life skill in general, but it’s also very important in your romantic relationships. Making eye contact will make you seem more trustworthy and sincere to your partner which will encourage more open and honest communication between the two of you. Studies also show that maintaining eye contact in a conversation encourages the other person to be more honest as well.
• A lot of relationship therapists and intimacy coaches recommend eye contact exercises to help couples that are having a hard time connecting. Eye contact exercises normally entail sitting across from your partner, setting a timer for a certain amount of time (anywhere for five to ten minutes) and staring into each other’s eyes for the entire time. These exercises are often called ‘eye gazing’ exercises and are used to increase feelings of closeness, compassion and support in a relationship.
Some studies show that intense eye contact can actually stimulate sexual arousal. People like feeling seen and understood. Intense or prolonged eye contact helps people feel seen and can make them feel confident and even aroused. Not only can eye contact heat things up, but it can also make sex more intimate.
• You know what they say about people who don’t look you into the eye. When you maintain eye contact, you are accustomed to take it as a sign of trust. And that eases you in, causing you to let your guard down. It builds true intimacy and you can feel the barriers crashing, with every sex sesh.
• While it may feel more natural to lean into a kiss with your eyes closed, there are actually a lot of benefits to keeping your eyes open from time to time. Making eye contact while you kiss can increase the intimacy and affection you feel for your partner. In the beginning it might feel odd to stare into your partner’s eyes as you make out, but working in short glances and even more prolonged eye contact can make kissing more intimate and steamier.
• Oxytocin is known as the “love” hormone which forms the basis of human bonds. When you have sex, this hormone is released which makes you feel closer to your partner. But did you know that eye contact can actually give you a boost of oxytocin? So more eye contact means more love.
• Some studies show that intense eye contact can actually stimulate sexual arousal. People like feeling seen and understood. Intense or prolonged eye contact helps people feel seen and can make them feel confident and even aroused. Not only can eye contact heat things up, but it can also make sex more intimate. Eye contact can replace verbal communication in the bedroom, and you can use it to indicate to your partner what feels good.