I am not a hugely expressive person and I do like my privacy and solitude. I know I am not always an easy person but I also know that I would take the bullet for the person I love. I value love and I value the people I love. I can be a hopeless romantic one minute and the most pragmatic mind the next. I trust easily and I don’t settle for mediocrity. I also know that time is of essence and that you must create the moments that will become great memories. I know relationships are hard work and it take immense courage to wear your heart on your sleeve. I also know that love means different things to different people and not everyone is fortunate to have it. Here are five important things I have learnt about relationships:
You can’t force love. Not everyone in this world will find love. You may find a partner, you may even fall in love and then along the way, know that it is not the real thing. You may settle for what looks like love but carry an empty ache deep inside your heart. You can definitely not have someone reciprocate love if they do not want to. Love is rare and if you have it, you must learn to treasure it, cherish it, and fight for it every single day.
You should not want to change your partner. When two people come together, in the beginning every thing feels just right. But as the days pass, you start to notice the differences and magnify it. You begin to criticize even the smallest of things and want to change the person. That is definitely not what love is all about. Love is allowing the person to be who they are. Love is to watch and help the other grow and live their full potential. Love is also all about humility and dignity and respect.
Never settle. Its common to hear people say that you have to compromise in a relationship, that you have to settle for whatever is being offered. I disagree. If you settle for a person out of fear of loniness and that you may never find love, you are being dishonest with yourself and with your partner. There is a saying that there are too many mediocre things in life, love should not be one of them.
It’s the little things that matter the most. Yup it’s the beat of his heart under your palm, the warm kiss on your forehead, a hug when you are feeling low or even that fight when he becomes possessive. Its squabbling over the last bite of chocolate, sharing your favourite sweater, laughing and goofing over something only you two understand, saving up for a holiday, or a text in the middle of a hectic day to ask how you are….
Express yourself every opportunity you can. Life is not guaranteed to anyone. Its important to develop the awareness that every conversation, every interaction you have with a person may be your very last. Its important because living with the burden of regret is a hard path to walk. Ask yourself: how do you want to be remembered and how do you want others to remember you. Tell the people you love that you love them at every opportunity you can.