by Sukkum Chemjong Limbu

Lex Limbu
Blogger & Founder of Tracing Nepal

A person’s sexual orientation or even their gender identity should not change the dynamics of their friendship. Unfortunately, for many people including myself, I have weighed my decisions depending on what my friends would think, especially when I was a growing teen. Thankfully as a young adult, I realised that if my sexual orientation changes the dynamics of a friendship for the worse, then it’s a friendship that’s worth letting go. As friends, I hope we take more time to listen to one another and also embrace all that makes an individual who they are. Thankfully, those friends exist and they are a keeper.

Rukshana Kapali

Ideally, it shouldn’t. People and circles that are embracing of sexual diversity do not let it be the way. But most of our societies are dominated with heteronormativity and lack of understanding that human sexualities exist in spectrum beyond cisnormative heterosexuality. With that, there are many negative stereotypes and myths associated with being someone who is not heterosexual – which could be homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual and so on. Even within heterosexuality – straight cisgender people who are attracted to transgender people are often stigmatised. These baggages of prejudice, stereotypes, myths and stigma impact people and their dynamics in a friendship. 

Phobe Barahi
Co-founder & Co-owner of Baas Sustainables

I do not necessarily think that a person’s sexual orientation changes the dynamics in a friendship as I have not been personally affected by it. The matter is totally subjective to individual perception and there are so many ways in which we can interpret the topic. I believe that friendship between two or more individuals is the result of a platonic and soulful connection that is built, regardless of gender and sexual orientation.

To share my personal instance, a very close friend of mine who is bisexual had not realised completely about her orientation during the time we met. Few months into our friendship, she became certain of her sexual orientation. There was not even a need for her to come out because of the connection we shared. We both knew our connection was not fragile that our sexual orientation would become a hindrance in our friendship. Nothing in our friendship has changed so far and we accept each other totally as we are.

Moreover, we can see that this generation is more accepting of choices and sexual orientation of people around them, especially their friends. It can be attributed to the use of social media and its role in educating our generation to accept and respect each other’s sexual orientation.

ANG Dolma Sherpa
Founder, Utpala Craft

I believe that anyone can be good to you in your good times but it’s very difficult to find someone who sticks by you through your lows. To have that kind of strength to stick through a difficult phase for someone else, you need to have a kind and loyal heart. Your sexual preference does not define what kind of heart you have. 
As humans we all are different from each other, that is why we have different names, different opinions, different religions, different career paths and different sexual orientation. Someone’s sexual preference does not bother me at all. I have the habit of observing people’s behaviour and I make friends based on their behaviour towards other people. 

I am very close to my six friends, and with different sexual orientation. We call ourselves MISFITS because if we are put together, we have no similarities on anything but what has bonded us is being there for each other. We criticise each other but we know it is with the best intention.
Few years back, I was going through a rough phase in life and my friends took turns to keep me occupied despite their own busy life and problems. Their sexual orientation is their own private thing; it has nothing to do with me or our friendship. What I value the most in our friendship is the love that we share for each other. 

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