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Home Bot CategoriesPeopleMen Speak DO MEN JUDGE A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN DIVORCED OR CHOOSES TO REMAIN SINGLE?

DO MEN JUDGE A WOMAN WHO HAS BEEN DIVORCED OR CHOOSES TO REMAIN SINGLE?

by wowmagazine

Adarsh Man Singh
Restaurateur

As a man living in the 21st century, I believe everyone has a right to be happy. You have to be quite backward to judge people on the choices they make in their personal life. I respect and support all my friends that are facing such matters in their personal lives, and ‘personal’ being the key word. As son to a mother, as brother to a sister all I can do is respect and love them, not judge them. Having said that, I cannot speak on behalf of men in general but I truly hope we can stop judging people on their choices.

Aayush Shrestha
Stand Up Comedian

Unfortunately, a lot of men do judge divorced women and women who choose to be single. I have heard a lot of men in my friends circle and even in my family that say less than flattering things about a woman who has made a life choice that doesn’t fall in the “socially acceptable” category. Our society’s discriminatory attitude towards divorced and single women is deep rooted. Even I grew up around such behaviours and it took me some time and perspective to get such judgments out of my system. Our society expects a woman to do everything to please her husband and family even if that means to sacrifice her happiness and individuality. And when there’s a woman with a “failed marriage”, she is deemed incapable of her womanly duties and is labeled a ‘bad woman’. People are quick to comment and give their two cents. “She gets angry very quickly, maybe that’s why.” “She doesn’t cook at home, maybe that’s why”. All this is way too common. Growing up, it was fed to me like a normal thing to think and say. I feel lucky enough to be around people who have helped me change and grow and check my prejudices. I am hopeful that others get that opportunity too.

Bishnu Timilsina
Talent Acquisiton Specialist/ Vice-President, Small Mammal Conservation & Research Foundation

Life as such is a personal choice and so is the decision about marriage. Making judgment about decisions others take for their lives should not be a characteristic of decent society and culture. After all, nobody wants to end a relationship that has beautiful beginning. Divorce is the result of a non-functional relationship, continuation of which will be cumbersome to both parties. I strongly believe there should not be objection to the choice of happiness someone takes. Therefore people should not be judgmental regarding anyone’s marital status.

Gyanendra Malla
Cricketer, Captain of Nepal’s National Cricket Team

It might not be a big problem in places like Kathmandu, instead people may even take such personal decisions in a positive way. But in our country as a whole, I don’t think our society is well accepting of this concept yet. It is still obvious that women are judged more than men in the society we live in. I think women should be treated and looked upon with more respect. We talk about equality but it is high time we start questioning why are women then made to suffer always? Just because someone is divorced, it doesn’t mean she is a bad person. I also think that it makes no sense to destroy your own life just because society will judge you.

Utsav Rasaili
Journalist

I think the idea of remaining single rather than getting into a relationship with a divorced woman is quite outdated. Even if we observe in the Nepali film industry, several women are happily married for the second time with full acceptance from both families.

So if men still judge women in terms of their personal choices, I think that should be stopped. If someone really loves their partner I don’t think anything should stop them from being together.

Niladri Pariyal
Immediate Past President, Bodhi Toastmasters Club
Principal, Triyog High School

It takes a large heart to understand and not judge when we come across exceptions rather than the norm. And the norm, especially in our part of the world, has been that a woman needs to be in a family setting (read married) in her adulthood. People, especially extended family and well-wishers, do question her choice, even today.

Do women have the right of choice to stay single or to come out of a marriage? Absolutely. Before we judge we need to realise every woman’s story is unique and no one but her would understand her reasons.

Men sometimes forget that a modern-day woman needs to put her education to good use and make productive sense out of her life. If she has supportive family on both sides and a caring partner supporting and nurturing her ambitions, helping her through familial and parental responsibilities, she can live a life of fulfillment and true happiness. And even if she has none of them in her life and is brave enough to make an independent choice, men and the society in general, need to learn to respect that.

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